Motherhood

Sometimes I long to be a steady and traditional mother who cooks and cleans and walks to the shops and dawdles in playgrounds etc.  I'm not tho and pretty sure I'll never achieve it. I'm mainly quite frantic, full of plans and constantly on the go. Me and my children seem to fly through our lives having lots of fun but forgetting P.E kits, being late for bed, having messy hair and eating my strange cooking..just generally making it up as we go along really! They seem well adjusted and I hope they are having a lovely childhood but I often feel like my head is about to spin off!

I wonder what it's like on the other side? Does that mother exist anymore, did she ever?! I like to imagine that even if I was dawdling in playgrounds and sitting under trees on summer afternoons with my offspring tumbling around me- my head would be still full and longing for a different pace of life, maybe more excitement and more spontaneity.

Do we ever think we are doing it right? Is there a mother out there who thinks she is perfect? Hands up!!

It's taken me a while (3 children) to realise that we mothers chase perfection but it doesn't really exist does it? Children see to that. Life gets busier and washing piles higher, suddenly if you manage to get dressed in the morning you have achieved the near impossible. We all have the 'grass is greener' side to our imaginings but that's where it should end. We should enjoy imagining a better life, it spurs us on to be our best but anything more ambitious and it starts to undermine us.

Yesterday I looked at my children when they brought me my 'mother's day' breakfast in bed and promised myself that I'm going to try and remember that I might be rubbish at remembering PE kits but there isn't a day that goes by where i forget to thank my lucky stars for their lovely little messy heads :)